Journey

My friend Thomas B once told me that the trouble with cleaning up your eating is that you can never go back. Not without serious repercussions. I have never forgotten that. It was quite a while ago that he said that to me. I also tire of my remedies. I am learning the hard truth that I have constantly been in a state of compensation. It is so inefficient. Khwan has told me that over the years, but I didn't have any way to deal with it. Even diets are compensation for bad eating, in their own way. Although that's not exactly what I meant. I mean all the non food remedies for my poor eating behaviors. It's a list I've been developing for most of my life. As far back as I can recall.

But I am happy to report that providence has brought me to this place. I think my life matters. My brand of 12 stepping is a valuable lesson for any that have witnessed it. Going from EA to an AA based sponsor to his suggestion of attending AA meetings (without the compulsion), to his girlfriend being in OA (before that signified anything to me), to Mary Jane's mother being in OA, to eventually attending a few meetings, to finding and loving OA chat rooms, to quitting, to still playing trivia in said chat rooms, to finding it again after my passionate exploration of atheism, to utilizing the help of a OABBSG sponsor, to rekindling my understanding and appreciation of the AA literature. I think it was a beautiful journey, starting and ending with Alcoholics Anonymous, for a teetotaler like me. I am proud to represent this branch of the 12 step and overeater's community. Perhaps my travels laid the foundation in some way for this AA leaning branch. Thanks to Dick, my EA sponsor. And thanks to my higher power that pointed me in the right direction.